I was part of a movement of "dinosaur moms" when I lived in Maryland (Astrodon Johnstoni is the Maryland state dinosaur.) Which is nothing more than this -- dinosaur moms delight in the half-feral nature of the beasties they parent, even as they whisper Shakespeare and Kierkegaard in their ears at night.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Dialogue a lot

I got this e-mail from Stepmother today. It was sent to me and my sister.

"I am going to start a tradition of writing to the two of you for 1 purpose and 1 purpose only -- that the two of you know a little more about your Dad and me over the course of the year. Although I have been part of your lives for the past 21 years I know you don't know a quarter of what I would like you to know about me. Some of that is due to distance, both objectively and subjectively, and in a lot of ways I don't think you know your Dad, especially as he would like you to.

If either of us would die today, and you reflected on your relationship with us, what would you think? and how would you tell our stories to your children? Your children, and their children behind them, are the only evidence that your Dad and Mom walked this earth and made a measure of contribution. How would that be played? Well the only way to find out is to dialogue and dialogue a lot.

I see a lot of your Dad in each of you, but in very different ways. Which is a helpful piece of information because you can't go forward without knowing where you come from. Likewise, before I "Cross over Jordan" I want you to know me and I you. There are many things I would like to say to each of you that I think can help you in your journey as women and, instead of not sharing, I am taking the first step.

This is my 1st week's attempt and the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise each week I will share more!

Have a GREAT day and talk with you soon!" and then she signs.

Now, I am trying not to be cynical about this, but you can imagine some baggage has accumulated over those 21 years. I don't know how to take an invitation to dialogue that so obviously doesn't invite dialogue.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Every Child Our Child

For MLK Day we had speakers in from UU at the UNO, who talked about this awesome program in Ghana. Having already stolen from Girl's girl scout cookie money to buy fair trade coffee from the bookstore, I thought better of attending the briefing, knowing they'd hit me up for a donation. But I did resolve one day to be the kind of person who can and does donate to such things.

B in P.E.

Girl has been down lately because she got all A's this quarter but for a B in P.E. I am truly torn as to how to approach this:

On the one hand, I don't want to play into any brains/ brawn baggage where I discount the P.E. grade.
On the other hand, the P.E. teacher seems like kind of a neanderthal. There seems to be LOTS of dodge ball and not much else.
On the other hand, this might be a good opportunity to practice the "I see that I keep getting B's in your class. How could I be doing better?" speech.
On the other hand, she's already prone to anxiety and I don't want her to get hung up on that kind of perfection.
On the other hand, there is a pizza party if you get all A's. This last seems an unworthy point, except that there are so few perks at our school, that I just feel like someone should throw her a bone.

Sooo, that's a lot of hands.