The Jefferson's as Epic Saga

For that brief moment in there when the nation was having the hard discussion about race, I renewed my yearning for the Black epic saga. I have a pitch to make -- "The Jefferson's" re-imagined as period drama with Will and Jada Pinket-Smith as George and Weezy. The Jimmy Smits vehicle "Cane" is a good model. It has everything. Smits plays a Cuban refugee, so there's a little history lesson in every episode, about Castro, Pedro Pan, etc. but it's painless b/c it's woven into the story. Likewise, 70's Black New York could give us lessons on Black enterprise in racially isolated communities. Smits has made good, so the plot is generally driven by ghosts from the past and struggles with exactly how much solidarity he owes his unwashed fellow Cubans and their old-school power rings. The dynamic is essentially the same in 70's Black New York. The Duque family in Cane has entertainment holdings, so it is a natch to have a new Latin star on every week. Likewise, The Jefferson's could have today's hip hop artists on as "Soul" stars, perhaps doing advertising spots for George's laundromat empire.

The Land of Cablinasia

Stepmother vehemently objected to my "Black is a club" analogy, writing,

"Not sure what you mean by a club because clubs are organizations that you voluntarily join. People like Tiger are considered Black whether they want to be or not and in his case he is still look for the land of Cablinasia! I think racism in America places people of color in buckets and if you are Black your bucket is not valued – White Hats/Black Hats; Black Tuesday; Dark moods. In America being Black is thought to be negative. What club would you join if you knew that you would be dumped on daily because of the color of your skin and not the content of your character."

To which I say, in any group, no matter how marginal, there are benefits to being recognized as one of "our own." Now, you can't tell me that Black people don't spend a WHOLE LOT of time and energy on what is Black, what is Black ENOUGH, who is not acting Black, who is putting on airs, etc. There's a reason for that. I get that. When you're under attack, you circle the wagons. You emphasize and take pride in the thing that sets you apart. But it does amount to a social norm. If you want the solidarity and support of the Black community, you must behave certain ways.

She also had no time for my Bill Clinton is Blacker comment, saying, "Skin color is the 1st and last thing –just ask Barack Obama. Having a political consciousness concerning the negative affects of racism is probably more productive. The tapes that run in our heads about Black and White is what keeps racism alive."

To which I respond, Barack Obama is a good example. He is light-skinned but phenotypically Black, goes to an established Black church in Chicago, has a long- standing marriage to a Black woman, has made his career in urban community organizing, and still often faces questions about his membership in and commitment to the Black community.

But, hooboy, she saved most of her ire for my shopping at Goodwill comment, saying
"Boy, this comment is hopefully for effect because this level of bias is interesting. You shop at Goodwill by choice—what if your had to shop at Goodwill because that’s the only way to buy your children clothes."

Funny that of all the inflammatory things I said, she picked up on that one. Of course I made the statement for effect, but I said it because it fingers a cultural taboo. No Black American of my acquaintance, no matter how destitute, would be caught shopping at Goodwill.

No, we don't live in the 'hood, but we do live in Black Phoenix. If you have just gotten a little money and you've just escaped from the 'hood, this is where you live. Most of Girl and Jones’s friends are one degree removed from the 'hood.
Now I am not telling family secrets when I say what we all know. Those kids are astonished that our kids got books and Sunday school clothes and science kits for Christmas. I mean drop-jawed astonished. Because they all got gold chains and flat screens and i-phones.

Again, I do get WHY that is. I GET to shop at Goodwill, because when I do it, it's interpreted as being charitable or thrifty or at worst quirky. I have the option of disregarding those status symbols. They don't, or don't feel like they do, have the option.

But of course I'm not just talking about the 'hood. It's the fabled bourgeoisie that are the most rigid enforcers of a selected list of these social norms. Not for no reason are there e-mails circulating with titles like Black women's dress code, urging them to pledge never to be seen in public with unpainted toes, etc.

Bill Clinton is blacker than me

I am having this very interesting discussion with my stepmother and sister. My stepmother is the child of a Black serviceman and his Japanese war bride, who loves her some sashimi but is basically a "race woman."

My sister and I are what happens when you let hillbillies and foreigners into your college. Our father is a Jamaican immigrant with Black slaves and Scottish plantation owners and Chinese merchants all in there. Our mother is of many generations of Irish, Germans and Dutch in Appalachia.

I don't know but I imagine my parents related to each other as collegians, as bohemians in a shrinking, post-race world. I think that Black Power happened to them, that it made my father feel that he had a birthright he was neglecting, that our racial identity became a turf issue for them, and that his pursuit of that path eventually killed their marriage.

We were talking about how, even though we both know the politics of standing up and being counted, it feels inauthentic to be as pale as we are and insist on being Black. My sister was saying she felt "limited" in her ability to relate. My stepmother was kind of dismissing it, like oh, we're just people. But everybody knows that's not the half of it.

Black is not a birthright. It's a club. And the shibboleths -- the secret passwords -- change every day. Skin color is only a teensy part of it. I can hang A LITTLE BIT. I have read my Angela Davis and my Toni Morrison and I AM very politically involved and I DO have an extensive network of Black professionals (IF I namecheck my Dad). But even by that calculus, Bill Clinton is Blacker than me.

My sister, who never insisted on a Black identity, always could and still can hang more than me. Could dance, had more Black friends, boyfriends,...

In Columbia, there was enough of a critical mass of iconoclastic Black people, that you could kinda point to them and say, y'know, like that -- I'm Black like them. Plus, everybody knew me.

Anywhere else, it's not my skin color but my behavior that makes people assume I'm white. I could be ebony and I'd still be a Unitarian. I still wouldn't know the catch phrases circulating on the HBC's. I still wouldn't see the relevance of Terry MacMillan or Tyler Perry. I still wouldn't find comedians funny who talk about how their momma used to slap them around. I'd still have a lot of gay friends. I'd still shop at Goodwill.

Well, and I'd still be married to a white guy. Because the other thing I noticed is that a lot of people cared about what my deal was racially when I was "in play." When it's like, are the Black women going to hate me if I date you. Now that I'm married, who cares? That draft is over and I'm under contract.

Interesting race/ gender intersection there. That you could have a maiden racial identity like a maiden name.

$4,000

I have similar ambivalence toward Jones's self-declared BFF. $4,000 is the youngest child of a woman who looks to have had a hard life. That he's the youngest is significant, because, unlike his more rough-cut siblings, each of whom has a different last name, I take it he was raised in the marriage that "took," that made it out of the ghetto and into the suburbs. This is a total guess and I am probably a big fat racist for assuming, but it is a pretty common phenomenon in my neighborhood.

His disposition is sweet and helpful, but to the point of ingratiating. He offers to carry my groceries and wash my car. He is endlessly fascinated with Jones. At first I thought it was just his toys. Mind you, he IS inordinately interested in the toys. But it's more than that. He has taken to grilling me on our customs and inviting himself along on our errands, as if to study our ways.

Some of this is oddly racial, as when a group of Black kids attempted to evict all of the white kids from the back of the school bus and $4,000 protected Jones. "I have his back," he has taken to declaring. I am grateful for these reports, because both of my kids are so oblivious that I would never get the dip from them.

You get the feeling that $4,000 and his siblings suffer from association with us. That they persist in coming over to our house speaks of some vaguely creepy calculation that throwing in with us is a better bet. That maybe I have something to tell them about suburban life. In fact, I do. Which is great, except for where I'm the stargate not because I'm a nice smart mommy in the neighborhood but because I'm white.

I have tried to correct the record and make the case for our Black cred, but dood, my son is blond. They just stare at me blankly.