Obamanos!

Don't Just Stand There

That's no PUMA; That's a HOUND!

It has been a great contribution to our family's political perspective having belle-mere around. First of all, she watches the news. I mean, hours and hours of it. So, she's up on things.

But, more important, she's a real-life example of these boomer women everybody's been talking about. She worked for Head Start before Reagan choked it to near-death. Though a college grad, she accepted preposterous under-employment because she was on point with the kids. Even working two jobs, she never rallied financially after her divorce. She saved what she could, but she doesn't have a pension. In short, she is precisely the type of pink-collar, old-school, Great Society liberal you would think would be a PUMA, a hold-out for Hillary.

And, indeed, I think it took some doing before she was comfortable with Obama. The choice of old stand-by Biden may have been a turning point. But, the PUMA turns out to be nothin' but a HOUND dog, after all.

Here's the thing. When I hear her and her peers talk. Oh, they'll vent over how the press did Hillary wrong and they'll shake their heads at how Obama needs some more years on him. But, I don't know how the press keeps finding these weepy boomer women sitting vigil for Hillary. My experience of boomer women is they don't base their voting decisions on whether they personally feel dissed by the process. This is not their first dance and they are not looking for love. They will get on board with the Democrats, not because Obama inspires them. Not because of Obama at all. And no, not really because of Bush either. But because, duh, they've been around.

What? You think they've never seen a fat-cat Republican masquerading as a maverick cowboy before? Never seen a Democrat leading light dismissed as a pretty-boy celeb? They can't decipher the code words? Can't follow the money trail?

Watching the press scrutinize Hillary's wardrobe choices may have been condescending, but y'know what else is condescending? Tokenism. Stunt-casting a woman who was not on anyone's shortlist as your running mate? They've seen that play too. So, it should come as no surprise that early polls show them unimpressed with McCain's choice.

I am here because of Ashley

At the end of his famous race speech, Obama tells the story of Ashley Baia.

“She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat…

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, ‘I am here because of Ashley.’.”

Now, I generally don’t go in for real people anecdotes, because they’re usually just cheap applause lines. But I like that story because it gets at something that I think is really important and, like a lot of crucial observations, really hard to put into words.

There’s a couple of things at work here. Obviously he was after the juxtaposition of the elder Black man, who is supposed to have a monopoly on grievance, on history, on moral authority, taking inspiration from or feeling solidarity with the young White woman. But I also took away from it support for my own cherished belief that folks might come for the ideology but they stay for the people -- a person. And it’s not always or often the leader.

In my life, I allow myself to become responsible for and to many groups of people. I say it’s for my kids, my family, but there is the perverse result that I am persistently called away from home and family in order to participate in these groups. And my willingness to put into those groups is directly proportional with the personal connection I feel to the other people there.

In the end, I show up for them.

The Land of Cablinasia

Stepmother vehemently objected to my "Black is a club" analogy, writing,

"Not sure what you mean by a club because clubs are organizations that you voluntarily join. People like Tiger are considered Black whether they want to be or not and in his case he is still look for the land of Cablinasia! I think racism in America places people of color in buckets and if you are Black your bucket is not valued – White Hats/Black Hats; Black Tuesday; Dark moods. In America being Black is thought to be negative. What club would you join if you knew that you would be dumped on daily because of the color of your skin and not the content of your character."

To which I say, in any group, no matter how marginal, there are benefits to being recognized as one of "our own." Now, you can't tell me that Black people don't spend a WHOLE LOT of time and energy on what is Black, what is Black ENOUGH, who is not acting Black, who is putting on airs, etc. There's a reason for that. I get that. When you're under attack, you circle the wagons. You emphasize and take pride in the thing that sets you apart. But it does amount to a social norm. If you want the solidarity and support of the Black community, you must behave certain ways.

She also had no time for my Bill Clinton is Blacker comment, saying, "Skin color is the 1st and last thing –just ask Barack Obama. Having a political consciousness concerning the negative affects of racism is probably more productive. The tapes that run in our heads about Black and White is what keeps racism alive."

To which I respond, Barack Obama is a good example. He is light-skinned but phenotypically Black, goes to an established Black church in Chicago, has a long- standing marriage to a Black woman, has made his career in urban community organizing, and still often faces questions about his membership in and commitment to the Black community.

But, hooboy, she saved most of her ire for my shopping at Goodwill comment, saying
"Boy, this comment is hopefully for effect because this level of bias is interesting. You shop at Goodwill by choice—what if your had to shop at Goodwill because that’s the only way to buy your children clothes."

Funny that of all the inflammatory things I said, she picked up on that one. Of course I made the statement for effect, but I said it because it fingers a cultural taboo. No Black American of my acquaintance, no matter how destitute, would be caught shopping at Goodwill.

No, we don't live in the 'hood, but we do live in Black Phoenix. If you have just gotten a little money and you've just escaped from the 'hood, this is where you live. Most of Girl and Jones’s friends are one degree removed from the 'hood.
Now I am not telling family secrets when I say what we all know. Those kids are astonished that our kids got books and Sunday school clothes and science kits for Christmas. I mean drop-jawed astonished. Because they all got gold chains and flat screens and i-phones.

Again, I do get WHY that is. I GET to shop at Goodwill, because when I do it, it's interpreted as being charitable or thrifty or at worst quirky. I have the option of disregarding those status symbols. They don't, or don't feel like they do, have the option.

But of course I'm not just talking about the 'hood. It's the fabled bourgeoisie that are the most rigid enforcers of a selected list of these social norms. Not for no reason are there e-mails circulating with titles like Black women's dress code, urging them to pledge never to be seen in public with unpainted toes, etc.

Is Obama Gen X?

Like many Gen X, I feel a seething rage toward the Baby Boom. This Joshua Glenn article and this John Broder article have really unpacked for me a lot of my unexamined political reactions toward the candidates. If I allow myself to think of Obama, who is technically a little too old, as my generation, then I have to admit, his "change" message feels substantial to me.

Whereas if I think of him as just another boomer politician, it rings hollow. I'm inclined to think he's an all-talk, no action boomer.

They've lost their ever-lovin' minds

So, my beloved called me at work today to vent his spleen about politics. This warms my heart, as I love being that for him -- Just someone to shake your head with. They’ve lost their ever-lovin’ minds, baby. It’s just you and me.

What had his goat was this brouhaha over Bill Richardson on the Logo panel. I didn’t hear it, but apparently Richardson said something about something being a choice and then spent the rest of the panel trying to explain that he didn’t mean that homosexuality is chosen. And now, it appears that the entire gay community has written him off. This reaction is infuriating, because, given that not one Republican even accepted the invitation to a Logo panel, this should be one of those “You had me at ‘Hello’” moments, where the mere act of attending the panel at all shows you where he stands.

Not to mention that Bill Richardson’s actions speak louder than his words, because he is the only one of any of the candidates who has ever had to do any meaningful wrangling for gay rights (not counting what role Clinton had in Bill’s disastrous “Don’t ask; don’t tell” debacle). As governor, he actually fought for civil unions. In New Mexico. Sheesh. But anyway, I don’t really want to blog about politics.

The reason I bring it up is this. It makes me sad for couples who seriously disagree about politics. I don’t mean like a good knock-down drag-out every once in a while -- “How can you be such a Bolshevik?”/ “How can you be such a defender of the machine?” That’s totally fun. I mean, like disagree about deep-seeded moral commitments or even about whether politics is something to talk about at the dinner table. How do they do it?

We’re not even such big pols, but I get a lot out of living in a house where snarky comments like, “Gosh, I get such a good feeling from supporting someone as ideologically pure as Kucinich!” Or “Could Obama maybe get some foreign policy experience before he declares war on Pakistan?” are invitations to discussion. I know in a lot of households there would be this uncomfortable, “There you go again.”