I was part of a movement of "dinosaur moms" when I lived in Maryland (Astrodon Johnstoni is the Maryland state dinosaur.) Which is nothing more than this -- dinosaur moms delight in the half-feral nature of the beasties they parent, even as they whisper Shakespeare and Kierkegaard in their ears at night.

Friday, February 08, 2008

The Land of Cablinasia

Stepmother vehemently objected to my "Black is a club" analogy, writing,

"Not sure what you mean by a club because clubs are organizations that you voluntarily join. People like Tiger are considered Black whether they want to be or not and in his case he is still look for the land of Cablinasia! I think racism in America places people of color in buckets and if you are Black your bucket is not valued – White Hats/Black Hats; Black Tuesday; Dark moods. In America being Black is thought to be negative. What club would you join if you knew that you would be dumped on daily because of the color of your skin and not the content of your character."

To which I say, in any group, no matter how marginal, there are benefits to being recognized as one of "our own." Now, you can't tell me that Black people don't spend a WHOLE LOT of time and energy on what is Black, what is Black ENOUGH, who is not acting Black, who is putting on airs, etc. There's a reason for that. I get that. When you're under attack, you circle the wagons. You emphasize and take pride in the thing that sets you apart. But it does amount to a social norm. If you want the solidarity and support of the Black community, you must behave certain ways.

She also had no time for my Bill Clinton is Blacker comment, saying, "Skin color is the 1st and last thing –just ask Barack Obama. Having a political consciousness concerning the negative affects of racism is probably more productive. The tapes that run in our heads about Black and White is what keeps racism alive."

To which I respond, Barack Obama is a good example. He is light-skinned but phenotypically Black, goes to an established Black church in Chicago, has a long- standing marriage to a Black woman, has made his career in urban community organizing, and still often faces questions about his membership in and commitment to the Black community.

But, hooboy, she saved most of her ire for my shopping at Goodwill comment, saying
"Boy, this comment is hopefully for effect because this level of bias is interesting. You shop at Goodwill by choice—what if your had to shop at Goodwill because that’s the only way to buy your children clothes."

Funny that of all the inflammatory things I said, she picked up on that one. Of course I made the statement for effect, but I said it because it fingers a cultural taboo. No Black American of my acquaintance, no matter how destitute, would be caught shopping at Goodwill.

No, we don't live in the 'hood, but we do live in Black Phoenix. If you have just gotten a little money and you've just escaped from the 'hood, this is where you live. Most of Girl and Jones’s friends are one degree removed from the 'hood.
Now I am not telling family secrets when I say what we all know. Those kids are astonished that our kids got books and Sunday school clothes and science kits for Christmas. I mean drop-jawed astonished. Because they all got gold chains and flat screens and i-phones.

Again, I do get WHY that is. I GET to shop at Goodwill, because when I do it, it's interpreted as being charitable or thrifty or at worst quirky. I have the option of disregarding those status symbols. They don't, or don't feel like they do, have the option.

But of course I'm not just talking about the 'hood. It's the fabled bourgeoisie that are the most rigid enforcers of a selected list of these social norms. Not for no reason are there e-mails circulating with titles like Black women's dress code, urging them to pledge never to be seen in public with unpainted toes, etc.

1 comment:

Dinosaur Mom said...

There's an Edith Wharton novel in this somewhere, you know.